Dear Inez,
I am 16 years old and I feel as if I don’t have a sex education. All my school does is teach abstinence. Is that wrong for me to do? Is it wrong if I don’t want to practice abstinence?
Anonymous
Dear Anonymous,
Abstinence is defined as the fact or practice of restraining oneself from indulging in something. High schools, particularly secular schools, tend to teach and preach the practice of abstinence based on religious beliefs and fear that the classrooms may be disrupted. However, the issue with teaching sexual abstinence in schools is that there is now a lack of safety surrounding something that about 45% teenagers take part in.To put any of your worries at ease I will say this: there is nothing wrong with abstinence and it is perfectly safe. Abstinence is each individual's personal choice. According to Planned Parenthood, many people interrupt abstinence in different ways. Some people abstain from all types of sexual intercourse others just from vaginal intercourse. Our school systems teach us that only by practicing sexual abstinence will unwanted pregnancies be 100% avoided. What schools fail to teach it’s students are perhaps the two most important aspects of sexual intercourse that are needed to stay safe and healthy: protection and consent. Protection comes in many different forms including male condoms, female condoms, birth control, and iuds. However, if you aren’t using a condom you and your partner should be tested for sexually transmitted diseases. The second piece that abstinence lessons leave out is the consent part of sex. They teach you how to say no but what if you want to say yes? If you and your partner both verbally consent and use protection you can continue on with intercourse. Be careful on watching each other’s limit. Some people may be comfortable with one type of intercourse but not another. If you need more information that your school does not provide, resources such as Planned Parenthood can help. Lastly remember the three S’s: strong, savvy, and sincere.
-“Inez G”